arianny celeste is heading to the prom pigs take wing at eleven

Four Horseman Mount Their Steeds

I know it seems impossible, but this actually worked and MMA Blog Weener Conner Cordova is going to his high school prom with the lovely – and apparently brain-damaged – UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste:

He managed to get Frank Trigg, Miguel Torres and trainer Eddie Bravo to step up and shill for him and his shot at dating glory.

And damned if it didn’t work…

We’re trying to get a “Will Conner Score After the Prom” pool going, but we can’t find anyone to take the $10 will get you $5,000,000 odds we’re offering on a night ending in passion for young Conner.

Should the lovely Ms. Celeste attempt to cash in on the pool through an intermediary, we’ll know right away and put a halt to the whole shebang.

Just saying here, but if it was you, and you were 17 again, and you could go to the prom with a girl who wore a little too much makeup but was guaranteed to give you some sugar, or the prom-queen-top-cheerleader-math-prize-winner who’s saving it for Mr Swiss Accounts, how would you roll?

Conner, we salute you and the massive case of blue balls sure to result from your Night of Nights.

Amen.