Top Ten Reasons to Punch Jose Canseco
The Top Ten Reasons Why 50 Bucks Is Well Worth the Price to Punch Jose Canseco
If there is indeed a higher power, and Dante was right about the existence of an Inferno, I believe Jose Canseco has more to worry about in his future than getting stomped by Hong-Man Choi.
That’s not to say thinking about his upcoming fracas with Choi shouldn’t cause him to wake up in a cold sweat – it should – but given Canseco’s history of abusing women, steroids, hair gel, jewelry and the patience of the sporting public, he should probably worry about a very, very long stint in Hades.
To my way of thinking, there ought to be a penalty to be paid for abusing your Fifteen Minutes of Fame. In Canseco’s case, I think it should be having ants feast on your shriveled testicles. While you hang upside down trussed with duct tape. Naked. In the lobby of this organization.
- He is, and always will be, a complete tool
- He dresses like a Guido
- He is a rat fink, a squealer and a really shitty teammate
- Canseco nearly destroyed baseball – singlehandedly
- His appearances on The Surreal Life reality show caused you to vomit up some Cheetos on your new armchair
This photo ->- Hell, it’s only $50, a bargain at any price
- He was thinking about writing a book - and a movie – about himself
- He likes to beat on women because he’s a douchebag
- He wants $60 for his book, pimps his daughter on the ordering page, yet will take $50 from anyone to sock him in the head.
I can only add one more thing. I truly hope that the first time Choi takes him down in their match, there’s some accidental digital penetration of the Crim Sex Cond sort to Mr. Canseco’s person.




