Ever wonder how most MMA fights end? I know I have.

According to this stuff from a bunch of egghead types at a hospital somewhere, you just aren’t going to see a bunch of knockouts – and unfortunately – that’s what we all want to see.

And don’t you just love these guys? I file it under, “No shit, Sherlock” in my Tell It To Me Straight notebook:

The relatively high incidence of injuries in combat sports has been well documented. The giving and receiving of high velocity blows seems to be the best correlation of whether a sport will have an increased risk of injury.”

Heh.

This is from a paper I wrote while I was in junior high entitled, “Getting Your Poon on, How Baby-Daddys Take the Collar and Contribute to Overpopulation.”:

The relatively high incidence of Schlitz Malt Liquor consumption among  my girlfriends directly correlates to the incidence of pregnancy among tasty teenage girls. “

But I digress, as Pikey would say.

These results are a little old, but I bet they still hold true. They were put together from looking at the results of MMA  competitions in Nevada from September 2001 through December 2004.

I know, a little old, but the more things change, the more they stay the same – especially when it comes to getting your ass kicked across the cage.

May have the same effect as a visit to the dentist trying to read this stuff, but give it a shot anyway. It can’t hurt you to know a couple of things for winning bar bets…

Total 171

This stuff is taken from:

INCIDENCE OF INJURY IN PROFESSIONAL MIXED MARTIAL ARTS COMPETITIONS
Gregory H. Bledsoe, Edbert B. Hsu, Jurek George Grabowski, Justin D. Brill and
Guohua Li
The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Department of Emergency Medicine, Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Published: 01 July 2006